Locking Down: the dangerous new trend taking America by storm

A small handful of middle aged men are sitting in the small, poorly ventilated back room of a strip mall store. The smell of pepperoni and Dewskis hang on the air like a wool coat not properly hung to dry. The crowd is gathered around two players, deeply concerned with their next moves. One of them is growing increasingly frustrated. The other is simply patiently waiting, a smirk broadening across his face with each moment that passes.

They’re playing Magic: The Gathering — a collectible card game that debuted in 1993 under Wizards of the Coast. Now owned by Hasbro, there are over 20 billion cards in the game economy, and over 35 million players. If you’ve not lost a child or spouse to MtG, consider yourself lucky. It’s a growing epidemic for which the true damage remains to be seen, as society remains in its upkeep phase.

It’s estimated that daily, 16 teens and 54 adults become addicted to Magic. Unfortunately, that’s the least problematic facet of its troubling popularity. Some players have taken to utilizing a strategy that some diehard fans claim is decimating the hobby. It’s called locking down and if your loved one has already begun making decks — it’s time to have a heart to heart.

Locking down is the entirely legal practice of selecting cards that effectively prevent your opponent from utilizing cards they’ve carefully selected during deck building. It can also affect all players, not just your direct competitor. These cards, or “nets,” have abilities that can quickly shift the balance of power, with the perpetrator deriving significant joy and the victim walking away frustrated and bitter.

“I started playing this game when I was 12 years old,” says Jim H. of Oakfield who once played EDH with friends at Chimera Hobby Shop. “After these arrogant tryhards started coming in with stacked decks, throwing all their mana behind a Void Winnower or tapping The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale? Where’s the fun in that? We build these decks to play them through, we want to see the abilities at work. It’s just unfair.”

Some players disagree. “Literally so what, go cry about it,” replies Derek B of nearby Mt. Calvary. “What a bunch of token-clutchers.”

Wherein lies the danger, you might ask? Dr. Karen Biggs, a mental health professional specializing in tournament psychometry says the amygdala responds in an interesting way when processing the experience of loss. Specifically, loss when the end result is perceived to be unjust. This phenomenon, known as chafing defeat or “psoreatic failure,” is actually responsible for sulking, a decreased interest in activities, and sometimes even mild violence.

Charlene Susatello of Oshkosh says she’s lost three Precious Moments figures to her husband’s psoreatic failure. “They’re not irreplaceable but … I mean, come on. Really?”

If you or a loved one are experiencing the negative effects of locking down, please contact the Department of Health and Human Services of Kaldheim, or locate your local Planeswalker’s Services agency.