BIC sparks outrage after eliminating warning labels on lighters

The rumblings of revolt against the iconic cigarette lighter brand, BIC, have been growing in recent months.

Brand loyalists around the country exploded with rage on the internet as the company did away with the traditional warning label. Some are even taking to the streets, huddling in office and store entryways — shivering as they suck smog down quickly before they have to get back to work. 

“I can’t believe they’re doing this,” complained Darryl Crabtree, a BIC customer since 1995. “I don’t know when they started putting labels on the lighters but they’ve been on there for as long as I’ve used them. Why remove them now? What good does that do anyone?” Crabtree walked away — looking wistfully at a lighter produced in early 2021 that still retained the vintage sticker.

“Honestly, we’re quite confused as to why this is so controversial,” says Edgar Bich, a third generation owner of the disposable butane empire. “Warnings were developed for our users’ protection. At no point have we diluted our commitment to disposable lighter safety.”

“They’re still as usable as they were before. They‘ve still got the warning labels. They’ve just been incorporated into the design of the overwrap. All that’s different is we aren’t paying millions of dollars to an adhesive label company when we’re already printing the plastic wrappers in-house.”

Customers disagree. “Half the reason we buy BIC lighters is to peel at the label,” says Mable Bacon, a customer and mom of two from Trumbull, CT. “It’s so satisfying. This is worse than when shipping companies started leaning toward those stupid puff pockets of air instead of bubble wrap.”

Jade Lomax — moderator for a neurodivergent shitposting group on Facebook —  says removing the stickers is causing panic within the community.

"The feel of the smooth sticker and the thin ridge separating it from the smooth plastic surface of the lighter is a sensory delight," says Lomax. "Especially for those with anxiety and who need self-soothing modalities to function. "

Another group the primary demographic BIC appeals to is also up in arms. Lance Pendleton, a smoker and secondhand smoker is fuming. “We need something to do with our other hand while we inhale our sweet, sweet poison. What are we going to do now – hitch imaginary cabs?”

Jerome Maxwell, a venture capitalist who just invested in an up-and-coming matchbook company, is excited about what this change will do for his company. “Man, I thought I had blew my dogecoin profits, but after this, I think my investments may really work out!”